WRITING FOR THE PROFESSIONS
WEEK 3 STYLE EXERCISES
SOME SUGGESTED ANSWERS

Exercise 1: Rewrite these sentences in the active voice. In 1-5, agents (subjects) are in bold and actions (verbs) are underlined. State the agents as subjects (ie person or thing performing the action of the verb), the actions or conditions as verbs (action words) or adjectives (words which describe or modify a noun). The first one is done for you with an explanation.

1. Our expectation was to establish new tolerance levels.

REVISION: We expected to establish new tolerance levels.

EXPLANATION: We identified the main action (verb = expected) and changed it from its noun form (expectation) back into a verb. We asked ‘who expected’? and the answer is ‘we’. The sentence is now in the active voice.

2. Attempts were made on the part of the engineering staff in regard to an assessment of the project.

REVISION: The engineering staff attempted to assess the project.

EXPLANATION: The subject of the sentence is the ‘engineering staff’. We have also changed the nominalizations ‘assessment’ and ‘attempts’ back into the verbs ‘assessed’ and ‘attempted’.

3. There were expectations by the governing committee that their report submission would meet the deadline.

REVISION: The governing committee expected that their report would be submitted to meet the deadline.

EXPLANATION: The subject is ‘the governing committee’ (who was 'expecting' and 'submitting'?). We have also changed the nominalizations ‘expectations’ and ‘submission’ back into the verbs ‘expected and ‘submitted’. We could also say ‘… their report submission would meet the deadline’ but that’s one fewer nominalisation reversed.

4. The appearance of the candidate before the board was on June 30.

REVISION: The candidate appeared before the board on June 30.

EXPLANATION: The subject is the ‘candidate’ and we have also changed the nominalization ‘appearance’ back into the verb ‘appeared'.

5. The governor's refusal of the request is a necessity.

REVISION: The governor necessarily refused the request.

EXPLANATION: The subject is the ‘governor’ (who did the 'refusing'?) and we have also changed the nominalization ‘necessity’ back into the adverb ‘necessarily'.