WEEK 9 STYLE EXERCISES
SOME SUGGESTED ANSWERS
Exercise 1: Longwinded expressions, bureaucratic jargon and tautology, can both alienate the reader as well as make your writing difficult to read. Replace the following common expressions with simpler ones.
|
JARGON
|
REPLACE WITH
|
| At your disposal | For your use |
| Upon receipt of | When we receive |
| With reference to | About |
| Conducive to | Helpful |
| Expedite | Hurry/speed up |
| Facilitate | Assist |
| Obviate | Reduce the need |
| At this point in time | Now OR at this point |
| Assuring you of our best attention at all times | We are glad we are able to help |
| Please find enclosed for your information | Please find enclosed OR Enclosed is … |
| Peruse | Read |
| Parties | People |
| Hereafter | From now on |
| Enclosed herewith | Enclosed |
| Above mentioned items | Items listed above |
| Speed is of the essence | Speed is essential |
| In some instances | Sometimes |
| A considerable period of time | A long time OR a considerable period |
| Pertaining to | Related to |
| There is no doubt but that … | Undoubtedly |
| Make an attempt | Attempt |
Exercise 2: Most of these meanings can be served by using one of the words in this expression as the initial word implies the other eg when you ‘combine’ anything, the meaning implies that you are putting it together with something else. It is therefore not necessary to use the other word.
|
POOR
USE
|
IMPROVED
|
POOR
USE
|
IMPROVED
|
| Precedes before | Before |
Reverse backward | Reverse |
| Combine together | combine |
Actual fact | fact |
| Progress forward | Progess |
Around in circles | Around |
| I personally | I |
In point of fact | In fact |
| Brief moment | Moment |
Specific example | Example |
| Estimated at about | Estimated |
Exact opposites | Opposites |
| Repeat again | Repeat |
Combine together | Combine |
| Absolutely essential | Essential |
Completely filled | Filled |
| Advance planning | Planning |
True facts | Facts |
| When and if | When |
Written down | Written |
| Continue on | Continue |
As for example | For example |
| Came at a time when | Came
when |
Period of time | Period |
| As yet | yet |
But nevertheless | nevertheless |
Exercise
3: Rewrite
the following sentences to eliminate wordiness. Make sure the original
meaning is not lost.
a) It has been my wish for a considerable period of time to gain entrance into
the field of accounting. This is due to the fact that challenges of my intellect
are what challenge me.
REVISION: I have long wished to become an accountant as I find it intellectually
challenging.
b) To me it appeared that Smith did not give any consideration whatsoever to the suggestion that had been recommended by the consultant.
REVISION: Smith appeared to ignore the consultant’s recommendation.
c) At this point in time we can't ascertain the reason as to why the screen door was left open.
REVISION: We don't know why the screen door was left open.
d) My sister, who is employed as a nutritionist at the University of Michigan, recommends the daily intake of megadoses of Vitamin C
REVISION: My sister, a nutritionist at the University of Michigan, recommends daily megadoses of Vitamin C.