Week
11 - The Plain English Debate
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Writing
for the Professions
Subject
No. 101058 |
Summarise Penman’s
(1992) critique of the Plain English movement. Compare her arguments
with James’ (2009) more recent summary of the current status
of Plain English. Are Penman’s arguments still valid? Find
some of your own examples to illustrate your view.
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This week's lecture:
is a lecture on the Plain English debate by Ray Archee recorded a couple
of years ago.
Quick
Links:
Research Exercise 1: Comparison of arguments
in the Plain English debate
Practical Exercise 2: Rewriting in Plain English
Style exercise 3: Plain English revisions
REMINDER: Have a draft copy (in pdf form) of your newsletter ready to upload into vUWS by next Monday. I will create a link on the vUWS homepage for you. The aim is to allow another class member to give you peer review of your newsletter.
Here's the exercise in case you want to be prepared.
Why 'Plain English'?
The use of Plain English or Plain Language (to use the non-exclusive
language term) is a movement championed by many people around the world,
but
especially by the UK and its colonies, including New Zealandand Australia.
The movement seems so fundamental: if you can get rid of the jargon, legalese
and awful, unnecessarily, complicated sentence constructions of certain
public
documents such as forms, contracts and government policies, then ordinary
people can actually understand them, and you will not need to employ
other people to explain the bad document. Above all, Plain English respects
the
reader, and not the document itself. Plain Englishmakes information
accessible to more people. Or so they say.
In his definitive book,The
Oxford Guide to Plain English (first published in 1995 but now
in its 3rd 2009 ed – well worth
buying), English
academic Martin Cutts, describes plain English (or plain language as it is
often called), in the following way:
The writing and setting out of essential
information in a way that gives a cooperative, motivated person
a good chance of understanding it at first reading, and in the same
sense that
the writer meant it to be understood.
He goes on to say that:
This means pitching the language at a level that suits
the readers and using good structure and layout to help them navigate.
It doesn't
always mean using simple words at the expense of the most accurate
or writing whole documents in kindergarten language ... (2009,
xi)
For more on the history of Plain English and the
Plain English Movement in Australia, read
more here. You might also be interested in these
links to the web
pages of Martin Cutts which has links
to various articles by Cutts and others which illustrate the application of
Plain English
principles.
So where does the debate
stand in 2013?
In the last few years, once again there has an increasing
level of interest in the debates about plain English, perhaps sparked by
Don Watson's book Death Sentence. Of course the classic example
of political gobbledegook and unplain language has to be from Sir Humphrey
Appleby in the classic BBC show "Yes Minister". As most students
are too young to know this show, here's
the text of the exchange.
For some other recent examples try these:
BEFORE: In the opinion of the acute services and IRS TBI providers, the clients medical status would enable the client to make significant improvements in functioning as a result of rehabilitation that would result in an increase in vocational and social activity and participation related to their pre-injury vocational and social roles.
AFTER: Acute services and IRS TBI providers deem the client ready for rehabilitation. This will significantly benefit their work and social activities.
BEFORE: The pedestrian link may not be fully operational at the time of opening of the commercial towers, which may result in significant pedestrian travel issues for the retail precinct.
AFTER: If the pedestrian link is not complete when the commercial towers open, people will not be able to walk to the shopping area.
Research Exercise 1: Compare the arguments about Plain English
Here
are a few (relatively brief) papers by Dr Neil James (of the Plain English
Foundation) and Prof. Catherine Lumby plus some other links. What are the
main points being made and how do their points of
view compare with what Robyn Penman has said?
Catherine
Lumby: Political Speak: Double Talk vs Plain English
Neil
James: Plain Language Developments in Australia
Neil James: Sydney
Writers' Festival Panel Paper
Counter
criticism and other
links
Joseph Kimble has a long
Web page which
is an answer to critics of Plain English, in particular, Robyn Penman.
Here are some world-wide links to peruse:
How do I learn to use Plain
English?
Many
of the style exercises we've done to so far, are aimed at looking at
the micro issues of plain English style ... so you are on the way. There are
lots of books and websites on this topic. Make sure to read this
tutorial from the tutorial section of www.plainlanguagenetwork.org You might also want to browse this
web page from William (Bill) Lutz, the author we referred to when we talked
about doublespeak.
Further to this, here are some tips from the Plain English Foundation.
- Put the needs of your readers before your own preferences.
- Clearly state your main message and don’t bury it in detail.
- Structure your text to place the most important information first.
- Pay attention to design and layout as well as to the language.
- Use a formal but friendly tone in workplace writing.
- Use short, familiar words, rather than long words to sound impressive.
- Prefer the active to the passive voice.
- Be ruthless on clutter — remove words and details that add little value.
- Use sentences which average 15−20 words, and vary them to be between 10 and 35 words.
- Check for errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation.
Why should I bother? Isn't this the
way everyone writes?
Listen to Neil James talk about his most recent book Modern Manglish, with Sky News.
Finally, for those who may have thought that worrying
about this stuff is merely for pedants, here are a couple of
recent examples which defy interpretation. These were sent to me by
friends,
both of whom have taught and worked in business for many years,
and who ask, “what does this mean, exactly?”
From
a workers' compensation website, we are told that what this organisation
does, relates to “the cultural and operational re-invention
of our customers non-core processing.” … yeah right!
Another gem reports the following:
Simple Augmented
Reality - Advances in mobile devices as well as in the different
technologies that combine the real world with virtual information
have led to augmented reality applications that are as near
to hand as any other application on a laptop or a smart phone.
(from
http://www.nmc.org/pdf/2010-Horizon-Report.pdf).
Week
11 Style Lesson: Writing in Plain English
As we've already said, most of what we have been covering
so far in this course encourages you to practice and use the principles
of
Plain
English.
Exercise
2: Rewriting in Plain English
Cut and paste the following passage into a separate
Word document, re-organise and re-write it into Plain English.
We will post a suggested answer
to this
next week.
This is not easy but here are a few suggestions:
- read it through and initially try and get clear what is
being said (hard bit)
- mark any words or phrases that could possibly be simplified
to improve readability and comprehension
- shorten long sentences
- fix redundancy and tautology
- use the active voice
PART III - MEDICAL FITNESS
CHAPTER 1 - MANAGEMENT OF INVALIDITY CASES
Potential invalidity cases to be handled quickly
1.1 It is essential that departments handle as quickly as possible any cases where it appears that the health of an officer or employee is impairing, in other than a temporary manner, his ability to perform his duties. This is essential both so that staff are kept informed of where they stand and of likely action in respect to their cases, and so that, as far as possible, situations are avoided where staff member's paid sick leave credits expire before a final decision is made about redeployment to another position, or retirement. In this connection it should be noted that the Common Rule re Sick Leave (Public Arbitrator's Determination No. 119 or 1951) provides that the maximum period allowable with pay in respect of any continuous absence through illness is 52 weeks, unless War Service Sick Leave and Compensation Leave are granted. The 52 week period may be extended by up to 6 months in compensation cases and/or by the period of the War Sick Leave. It should also be noted that a Permanent Head should not backdate the retirement to a date earlier than that on which the Commonwealth Medical Officer certified that the officer or employee was unfit for his duties. Thus any delays by the department in handling these cases could lead to the officer or employee concerned being without either salary or pension for a period. In exceptional circumstances, for example, where an officer or employee has been disadvantaged by maladministration, a department may seek the agreement of the Board's local Regional Director if the Permanent Head proposes to set a retirement date preceding the date of the Medical Officer's certification that the staff member was permanently unfit.
Here's Robert Eagleson's suggested answer
Exercise
3: More exercises in Plain English
Additional Plain English style exercises for your portfolio
Some suggested answers