Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say?

 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says  

No crap, really? Ya think? 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers  

Now that's taking things a bit far! 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  

What a guy!  

Miners Refuse to Work after Death 

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  

See if that works any better than a fair trial! 

War Dims Hope for Peace  

I can see where it might have that effect! 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 

Ya think?! 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures  

Who would have thought! 

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 

They may be on to something! 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges  

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?  

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge  

He probably IS the battery charge! 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  

Weren't they fat enough?! 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft  

That's what he gets for eating those beans! 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks  

Do they taste like chicken?

Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half  

Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors  

Boy, are they tall! 

And the winner is....  Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead